HOW TO WIN THE BATTLE AGAINST YOUR PHONE ADDICTION
31 JULY 2020 (6 MIN READ)
START LIVING LIFE AND ESCAPE THE VIRTUAL PRISON
Smartphone addiction is an international disease tearing through the mental health of our generation. Most importantly, it has diminished our ability to use one of the most vital tools in our kit: self-reflection. This skill holds us accountable for our actions and allows us to grow as human beings. Without it, you can end up stuck on a hamster wheel of ignorance and repressed pain. Unfortunately, it seems society is headed down this dark path. Pay attention to your friends, even yourself, when there is a lull in the conversation, and the air gets sucked out of the room: they will likely turn to their phones because they do not want to be left alone with their thoughts. It is an alluring escape from the hard work of navigating the brain’s inner monologue. The main reason for this: we have all become dependent on immediate gratification.
FEEL GOOD NOW; PAY FOR IT LATER
Why should we sit alone and think to ourselves when by simply pressing one button we can get launched into a virtual vending machine filled with delicious forms of dopamine? This habit is a vicious cycle with no apparent end in sight. When you pick up your phone and swipe through social media or dating apps, dopamine releases into your brain, which leaves you feeling happy and motivated. However, you will continue craving those good feelings and feel on edge until you obtain them again. Simply put, you go through withdrawal. Phones have become the most readily available drug on the market, and just one swipe is a good enough hit to get you through the next ten minutes of life.
Thus, everywhere you go, your phone is by your side because you can’t bear to live without it. People are more likely not to need the distraction of their phones if they are engaging in highly stimulating forms of activity. For example, consider the times you have had a great conversation, played an intense game of cards, had passionate sex, or did an intense workout. These actions provide dopamine to the brain, acting as a sufficient enough replacement for the moment; unfortunately, tasks such as doing tedious work or reflecting on yourself do not. We have tuned ourselves to always look for our next fix. And adequately dealing with your inner demons does not fit that criteria. However, breaking this dependence is crucial for your mental health.
GET REAL
I firmly believe that the only way to beat pain is to sit with it and take it for a ride. The more you toss it aside and fail to address it, the larger it will get, and the more it will drag you down in the future. Trust me, addressing your pain is no walk in the park; it takes severe discipline and hard work. Sometimes, I spend hours sitting down and breathing through my pain and writing pages of notes, which allows my logic to bypass my emotional response and make sense of the situation. Like most things in life, people crave the easy way out. When pain arises, they will continuously refresh their social media feeds until that pain has been forgotten. Until the day that eventually stops working and they may turn to more aggressive forms of numbing their minds. Immediate gratification does not mix well with personal growth; it is its arch-nemesis.
To combat this, all you need to do is take the first step. It’s the highest step you can possibly take, but once you get to the top, there’s no stopping you. The next time you feel anxious or upset, toss your phone away momentarily, put your hands up and fight back. Pain will come with some serious punches, but eventually, you will become invincible through repeated training. Just take the first step.
STAY PRESENT
One way this habit can start coming naturally to you: put your phone far away when you are engaged in tasks that demand your attention. For example, talking to a friend or romantic interest should require your highest level of engagement. Breaking the conversation to check your phone can be considered rude. Not only does it reveal bad social skills, but also a lack of respect. So, the next time you go out for a meal with a friend, leave your phone in the car. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but after a while, you will notice yourself feeling much more present. Your ability to converse will exponentially improve. This method can extend to doing work or watching a film, all with the same result: feeling more immersed in the current moment. Checking social media as an escape usually boils down to the same thing—you become bored, and seeing people living the opposite way provides a mental escape. Interestingly, this often makes you feel worse about yourself and triggers envy for those who are having more fun than you. What most people realize but don’t always internalize about social media is that everyone is projecting the persona of who they want to be.
BEATING THE TRAP
Most social media stories consist of the highlight of a day, whether that is a mediocre sunset photo or a picture of their dog. In addition, they post highly edited selfies that reveal the version of themselves that they are most comfortable presenting. However, behind these posts is a great deal of pain. Nobody posts about their pain because that detracts from the image they want to emulate. Edited selfies actually reveal extreme forms of insecurity. The individual in question is not comfortable with what they truly look like and they are fishing for validation to momentarily put their insecurities to rest.
Whenever you stumble upon a post that you find yourself envious of, whether it be a fun vacation or a glamorous selfie, pay attention to the pain that individual may be hiding. Doing this will set you free.
You will no longer find yourself feeling jealous or needing to look at posts to run away from your pain. If you want to take it a step further and get crazy, start posting fewer highlights and mix in some lowlights—post about the pain in your life, which in turn will normalize and validate your experiences.
DIG DEEPER
Lastly, and this one takes a lot of practice, every time you feel yourself itching to check your phone, ask “why?” What is going on inside of my mind that is making me reach for a distraction? Is there something within myself I am not addressing? Am I bored with my own life and feeling insecure? The answers may not come straight away, but through repetition, you will grow more comfortable with sitting down and reflecting on these questions. This thought process can transfer to other aspects of life. Why am I reaching for a drink? Why am I texting this guy who doesn’t treat me with respect? Why am I judging someone so intensely when I haven’t even figured myself out yet? The more you ask yourself “why?”, the more you will get to know yourself and understand your actions.
