HOW TO BECOME THE GAME
28 DECEMBER 2021 (14 MIN READ)
We have been conditioned to believe, especially men, that we get what we want by chasing it with all that we have. The behaviors that reflect this are activities such as running after that girl you idolize or working 18 hours a day on your business. However, the more you chase something, the more the object runs away; this is more so true with romantic relationships. If you need to put a person on a pedestal and change yourself to get them, then you are ultimately telling yourself that you are unworthy. And by feeling unworthy, you will never step into your power, which will deter romantic partners away from you, as well as business partners. But how can all this be true? As men, we’ve constantly been told to work on our pick-up lines and our humor. Women have been told to look good for men and charm them through seductive manners. This is all bullshit for one main reason: at an energetic level, you will attract whatever is on your frequency or whatever wants some of your frequency. It does not matter what goes on top of it.
Even if you have an eight-pack and got “game” for days, if you are insecure and feel unworthy, you will not attract the highest quality of partners. You will only attract those who have been fooled by your exterior, meaning that they are also fooled by their own exterior, resulting in you attracting someone on the same wavelength as you. To beat this, you must become the game, which translates to becoming the best version of yourself. And by doing so, you raise your frequency as high as possible, attracting things beyond your wildest imagination. If you think that by getting something, such as a model romantic partner or a certain amount of money, you will finally feel the way you have always wanted to feel—then you are wrong. And that’s because needing something to feel a certain way is a tale that never ends. Consider the amount of billionaires still chasing more money. To defeat this bad habit, check in with what feeling you are chasing behind the material objects you “need,” and literally feel that feeling now. And if you cannot, you need to do the internal work that allows you to get there, which usually involves removing levels of unworthiness inside the body, stemming from trauma. By becoming that feeling now, you are more likely to attract the life that comes with that frequency. Although wealth and attractiveness have tangible components to them, they are equally a mindset. You must feel attractive to be attractive and you must feel wealthy to become wealthy, and most importantly, to remain wealthy.
Until I was about twenty-one, I thought that by getting the hottest girls and the best academic grades, I could bypass my emotional turmoil and start feeling awesome. However, this just translates to: I need to do X, Y, and Z, so I can feel worthy in the eyes of others. Thankfully, I soon discovered that no amount of women or academic accomplishments could remedy the dark feelings I felt inside. Put differently, no matter who I was with or how well I did in school, I still felt absolutely awful. Then COVID hit, and I was forced to go inside and address all of the pain in my body. Although this was a brutal process, and still is, by removing the internal barriers to my peace and raising my frequency, I ended up attracting the woman of my dreams who can match my level of consciousness, as well as finding my purpose and making friends who are also purpose-driven, rather than “I need to get to the weekend” driven. But most importantly, I finally feel worthy in this moment, removing the “need” for anything but myself.
I’m in the process of becoming the game. And here is everything I did to get to this place—listed in fine detail so you can copy and paste it into your own life.
REPROGRAM YOUR LANGUAGE
Any barrier towards feeling worthy of professional or romantic success boils down to the language you have been indoctrinated with from a young age. For instance, as a kid in school, I would constantly do poorly academically and get placed into borderline special education classes. But instead of having peers and professors telling me I can do better, they would just tell me I am hopeless and dumb. My parents would not tell me those words exactly, but their energy and treatment made me know that’s what they were thinking. Consequently, through hearing those external words constantly, they became an internal mindset, making me feel hopeless and dumb for a long time. Thankfully, a couple of years ago, I realized that although I had severe learning disabilities, what was stopping me was not my own capabilities, but a story I was telling myself. And that story was not created by me. At that moment, I knew a new story had to be made that was rooted in redemption, and I was writing that joint, not anyone else. Before, I thought that I had to be the smartest guy in the room to achieve anything or to be validated by society; however, I eventually realized that you have to be the most passionate and hard-working person in the room instead. Although going to an Ivy League school had its issues, such as rampant egoism and an intentional destruction of spirituality, the one thing it taught me was that I could be surrounded by hundreds of people who are smarter than me, but I will still outwork them and do better than them because of that. So, my internal motto shifted to: “I will work harder than anyone because I believe in myself to overcome any obstacle.” Once this new language replaced the old spells in my head, a whole new world of success opened up.
Unfortunately, I was missing one key thing: that I was still working hard for external validation—to prove those old haters wrong and shove their face in dirt. Full of this egoistic drive, I would use negative self-talk to push myself to work way too hard, forcing constant burnout and feelings of deep unworthiness. I was getting the good grades and external praise, but I still hated myself. Once this realization smacked me in the face, the next level presented itself to me: hard work should come from becoming the best version of yourself. Instead of believing that no one is outworking you in terms of “grinding,” such as hustling all day or working out eight times a day, you should aim to believe that no one is working harder on themselves than you. The former is coming from a need to be seen as worthy in the eyes of others, the latter is rooted in wanting to love yourself internally as much as possible, resulting in a lack of need for external praise. And once your metric of worthiness and validation stems from the inside out, you will attract higher quality things for yourself—mainly due to the irresistible pull of non-neediness and also drawing in people and situations that treat you in the awesome way you treat yourself.
I initially began life feeling like a dumb piece of shit, unworthy of anyone’s love or attention. Then, after a couple of years, I felt like an empowered, hard-working piece of shit. And now, I am someone who loves themselves and works his ass off to maintain that level of loving peace. Furthermore, I now attract things that treat me in the loving way I treat myself. What was the key ingredient in setting off this chain reaction? The continuous change in the way I talked to myself, which in turn, changed my reality.
In summary, the way you talk to yourself (your thoughts) dictates your level of worthiness. Your level of worthiness influences the people and situations you attract into your life. And what you attract into your life dictates your experience, aka your reality. In combination, your thoughts or the stories you tell yourself control your reality.
The best way to capitalize on this formula is to sit with what areas in life you feel unworthy in and reflect on the history of the language you have experienced facing that area of life. Now that you know which stories have damaged your quality of life, you can start tweaking them from a place of self-love. Alter the stories you tell yourself and watch your life transform.
MEET YOUR NEW PROFESSOR: THE LAW OF ATTRACTION
In romance, you will attract the wounds you need to heal until they are healed. For instance, let’s say your father treated you terribly and would often verbally attack you. If you have moved through life not healing that traumatic wound, you will end up attracting a verbally abusive form of masculinity in your lover. This happens for two main reasons: repeating unconscious patterns and syntonizing frequencies. In terms of the former, and going back to the example, if you grew up associating masculinity and love with aggression and hostility, then your brain has associated those traits with love for a long time; it’s impossible to change that association unless you have become aware of the wound. Consequently, because the association between love and aggression is so familiar, and you do not know that correlation exists, you will be more likely to attract someone who exhibits similar traits, because that is how you learned to love the masculine. This pattern is the same case for any negative trait we learned to tolerate and love in a parent throughout our childhood. If we do not become aware of it and heal it, it will show up in all of our lovers until we do. Next, in terms of syntonizing frequencies, you attract frequencies that reside on the same wavelength as yours.
I believe that your frequency boils down to your level of internal worthiness. This is due to the fact that the more worthy you feel inside yourself, the less you will need from the external world. And the ultimate marker of peace is not needing anything but yourself and this present moment. As stated in the previous section, your thoughts dictate your level of worthiness. If you constantly berate yourself and judge yourself, then you will feel unworthy, and as a consequence, you will have a low frequency, syntonizing with those on the same level. On the other hand, if your thoughts are mostly positive, loving, and reassuring, you will feel worthy, leading you to possess a higher frequency and align with those with the same energy. Also, you can only tolerate the way you treat and talk to yourself. This truth makes it easier to attract people who talk to you negatively, if you happen to talk to yourself that way. For those of you who are thinking I’m some spiritual hippie who is out of his mind, let me present a couple of arguments to try and convince you otherwise. Why do you think lowlifes hang out with lowlifes? Why do you think high achievers hang out with high achievers? Why do you think political extremists hang out with political extremists? You attract the energy you put out into the world. If you constantly complain about the government being responsible for all of your woes and feel depressed all the time, you will become friends with people who think and feel the same way. This is also why once you step outside of problematic mindsets, which changes your level of worthiness, you start to feel distant from the friends who are still stuck in the same place. The energies stop resonating; you literally feel an energetic pull away from those people. Lastly, how can you explain knowing someone’s level of self-worth by just observing them? You are tapping into their energy.
Going back to the title of the Law of Attraction as a teacher, the people you are attracting into your life, both friends and lovers, are a direct reflection of unconscious patterns you still possess and the frequency you reside at—at this moment in time. If all of your friends drink too much and are irresponsible, then that is a pattern of behavior you have possessed in your unconscious mind for a long time—it is familiar. This could come down to being surrounded by alcoholics your whole life and/or being used to running away from your emotions. On the other hand, if you are attracting romantic partners who are insecure and needy, then they are reflecting a similar level of unworthiness in you, which dictates your frequency. In combination, to start attracting things that serve your highest self, you must take a step back and look at what unconscious patterns keep ruling your life and what levels of unworthiness are affecting your frequency. And the best signal of that is what you are attracting into your life at this current moment, because it is a direct reflection of you.
BECOMING WORTHY
Although we have discussed how to use the Law of Attraction to realize your level of worthiness, as well as the power of language in healing it, there is one more essential tool in becoming worthy: self-trust. I believe there are four pillars to a strong level of self-trust: comfort in solitude, an ability to deal with your emotions, embracing vulnerability, and sticking to your word. In terms of comfort in solitude, you need to trust yourself to be able to enjoy spending time alone. If you do everything in your power to run away from yourself, like always socializing or any other distracting activity, then, at a base level, you are afraid of yourself. And that’s a pretty fucking wild concept—being afraid of your own mind. I have been there before and it’s a horrible way to live. How can one crawl out of that? Put succinctly, you need to deal with whatever you are running away from in yourself, because the more you need other people to help fill that hole inside yourself, the less worthy you will feel in life. In contrast, if you are able to guide yourself through deep pain and come out on the other side, you will begin to feel empowered and unbreakable—not needing anyone but yourself in the toughest moments of your life. Relating it back to self-trust, you must be able to trust yourself to deal with challenging things alone, which is reflected by the skill of solitude. I spent months of this year completely alone, away from anyone, and although it fucking sucked ass sometimes, I became infinitely stronger after coming out of the cave. And that’s due to me being able to trust myself to get out of hard situations on my own. This made me realize that we all have the capacity to be our own healers if we allow ourselves to be.
Next, although quite similar, it’s important to be able to handle your emotions without external aid. At its root, any addiction is merely you telling yourself that you cannot deal with what’s going on inside your body. When I used to be addicted to weed, it was because I refused to deal with the uncomfortable stress and anxiety in my system. Similarly, albeit not a drug, being addicted to constant romantic partners is a way to not deal with another uncomfortable feeling in the body: a deep level of unworthiness. Until you trust yourself to deal with tough emotions, you will keep depending on people or things to do it for you, creating harmful addictions in the process. And how can you trust yourself or feel worthy if you are constantly depending on other entities to make you feel good?
Despite the immense value of self-reliance—as explained in the previous two paragraphs—being able to get vulnerable and ask for support is equally as important. The end goal is to be fully self-reliant, in terms of dealing with your emotions, but one cannot be expected to get there on their own; they need some guidance. So, accept that you need support and go find someone who exemplifies deep self-reliance. Whether it be reading books by gurus, obtaining a mentor, or consistently calling an empowered friend of yours, find that blueprint that allows you to become fully independent. What’s stopping you from embracing that you need support is an inability to stare at your own darkness head on, which doesn’t allow you to show that side of you to the world, resulting in you telling yourself and others that you’re always “fine.” So, before you go off on solitary trips to discover yourself, it’s important to tell those you love of the darkness inside you, because it sets off a habit of accepting it in yourself. And you cannot change what you do not accept.
Lastly, it’s hard to trust yourself when you keep lying to yourself or others, as well as continuing to not do the things you said you would. I believe a big chunk of depression is feeling crappy about yourself because you know you could be doing things that are good for you, but you refuse to do them, opting to watch television all day, not working out, and eating crappy food. Your spirit knows when you are lying to yourself, and it does not like it one bit, resulting in it beating you up until you get the message. I used to be that depressed person doing anything and everything to lose personal responsibility. I constantly made excuses to myself as to why I shouldn’t be doing things that are good for me, and as a result, I constantly made false excuses to other people. I believe this is the epitome of unworthiness, and as a result, a very low frequency. To come out on top, I started to list non-negotiable things that I have to do every day, such as working out, eating healthy, writing, and doing one hard thing to challenge myself. Once those boxes are checked, I feel responsible and good about myself; in other words, I can trust myself to be accountable and reliable, raising my self-worth in the process, which raises my frequency.
Once these four pillars are strengthened, you will start trusting yourself at a much higher degree, which will amplify your level of worthiness, resulting in a higher frequency that attracts the things you really want in life.
